Engaging Reluctant Readers

11 Common Reading Mistakes Parents Make (and What to Do Instead)

• Ellen Westbrook • Season 1 • Episode 18

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You want to encourage reading—but somehow, things keep backfiring. Maybe incentives don’t work, reading time ends in frustration, or you're not sure how much to step in. Sound familiar?

In this episode of the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast, Ellen Westbrook walks you through 11 common mistakes parents make (without realizing it) when trying to support their child’s reading—and what to do instead. With gentle mindset shifts and simple strategy swaps, you’ll learn how to rebuild connection, reduce pressure, and help your child feel more confident with books.

What You’ll Learn:

☑️ 11 things nearly every parent does at some point—without realizing it
☑️ Why traditional rewards and rules often backfire
☑️ Support for building confidence, connection, and progress—your way


⏳ Key Episode Highlights:

[00:00:41] Why bribes, reading logs, and pressure don’t work as intended
[00:01:54] Common reading “mistakes” we all make—and how to rethink them
[00:06:37] What to do instead: visibility, rhythm, connection, curiosity
[00:07:53] One powerful question to ask when reading gets hard
[00:08:28] When to trust the process—and when to seek outside support
[00:9:55] A simple way to boost comprehension (without quizzes)
[00:11:10] Coming soon: low-pressure back-to-school support
[00:11:41] Sneak peek at next week’s episode

📖 Prefer to Read? Full blog post: https://engagingreluctantreaders.com/2025/08/21/reading-mistakes-parents-make/


📺 Prefer to Watch? YouTube video version: https://youtu.be/lRwOyo6fdnM


✨ FREEBIE ALERT!
Grab your Reading Bucket List Bundle—with 164 fun, flexible reading ideas to help your child read their way, on their terms.
📥 Get it here → bit.ly/RBLBundle


📘 Need help getting your child to want to read?

Check out the Create the Invitation to Read Mini Course—a short, practical training that helps you make books feel irresistible (no nagging or bribing required).

📥 Enroll here → https://bit.ly/CTITRminicourse 


📙 Struggling with low motivation or confidence?

The Motivating Reluctant Readers Guide helps you use incentives the right way—by matching them to your child’s personality, interests, and type of reading resistance.

📥 Get it here → https://bit.ly/MRR_GUIDE


💜Reset & Read Workshop: 

Save your seat today → https://bit.ly/resetandread 


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It helps get this podcast out in front of more moms that need to hear it, so we can help more reluctant readers learn to love books and put an end to the nightly battles around reading!

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[00:00:00] Ellen: Welcome to the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast. I'm Ellen Westbrook, your host, and Recovering Reluctant Reader. Together, we'll tackle reading roadblocks with personalized strategies and out of the box ideas. All while rediscovering the joy of family reading fun. Ready to transform your child's view of reading from Dread to Must Be Read?

[00:00:18] Let's dive into today's episode. 

[00:00:25] Have you ever promised your child a piece of candy? Five extra minutes of screen time? Or maybe a new toy just to get through one more page? maybe you've stared at that reading log the night before it's due and scribbled something down because, well, life got busy.

[00:00:37] If so, first of all, you're not alone.

[00:00:39] And second, let's talk about it.

[00:00:41] Here's the thing, there's nothing wrong with using short-term incentives. Especially when they're tied to fun or you're just trying to survive the evening.

[00:00:48] No shame here.

[00:00:49] But sometimes the well-meaning habits we slip into, can quietly chip away at the very thing we're trying to build.

[00:00:54] So today we're talking about some of the most common reading mistakes I see parents make. Don't worry, I've fallen victim to some myself, and then what to do instead. Not because you're doing it all wrong, but because noticing what's not working, that's the first step towards something better.

[00:01:08] Let's start with the big truth. You love your child, you want them to thrive. And when reading feels hard or turns into a nightly standoff, it's easy to slip into what I call reaction mode. We start pushing harder. We start bribing, tracking, reminding.

[00:01:21] Maybe the school is sending home reminders, and you've started to let comparison creep in.

[00:01:25] You think other kids are already reading fluently, what's wrong here? Or she used to love books? What happened?

[00:01:31] All the while you're seeing your friend's kid breeze through chapter books so fast they can't get enough.

[00:01:35] Maybe you're just exhausted and wondering why it feels like you're the only one that's trying.

[00:01:39] When we parent from that place of panic or pressure, connection gets lost, and reading starts to feel more like a battle than a bridge. But it happens, a lot, because let's face it, this stuff is emotional. It's not about blaming. It's about noticing and choosing a better way forward.

[00:01:54] So let's name a few of those common patterns, starting with one that's sneakier than it sounds.

[00:01:58] Not having books readily available.

[00:02:00] It seems simple, right? But the truth is when books aren't easy to see and grab, they're constantly losing the battle to screens, snacks, and sports practice. Out of sight really is outta mind, especially for our kids, and maybe a bit for us too. That's why we want books sprinkled all over the place to make reading the path of least resistance.

[00:02:18] Then there's mistake number two.

[00:02:20] Treating reading like another item on a checklist.

[00:02:22] Now, I'll be honest, this hasn't been a huge struggle for us personally. We've always had a pretty steady rhythm with reading at home, but that doesn't mean I haven't felt the tug of exhaustion at the end of the day.

[00:02:32] There have definitely been nights where I thought, we don't have to read tonight, but I usually convince myself that reading a page, or one chapter instead of our usual three is worth it because the goal is to keep the rhythm going, even if it's tiny.

[00:02:44] I've heard from so many parents who've told me they've caught themselves watching the clock trying to squeeze out five or 10 more minutes for the sake of a reading log, even when their kid was clearly already checked out.

[00:02:54] Or they've skipped reading entirely, but filled the log in anyway, because honestly, the battle wasn't worth it that night, and I get it. But the second reading becomes a task to complete, something we just get through, or worse, something we fudge for a reading log, we lose that magic. It becomes homework, not a habit.

[00:03:09] That leads me to mistake number three.

[00:03:11] Correcting every single mistake mid-read.

[00:03:13] Phew! This one, I've done it. I remember when JD would fly through a book and accidentally skip a word or two, not because he didn't know it, but because he was rushing. Without even thinking I'd jump in,

[00:03:22] "Wait, you missed a word."

[00:03:24] And in an instant, that confident rhythm, it was gone. It broke the flow. It made reading time feel like homework. And more importantly, his confidence took a hit.

[00:03:33] Soon they're more worried about messing up than just enjoying themselves.

[00:03:37] Mistake four is another one related to reading confidence.

[00:03:40] Pushing reading aloud when they're not ready.

[00:03:42] We dove deeper into this in last week's episode, but here's the short version. Reading aloud can feel like a performance. Asking them to show what they know in front of you might feel more like a test than a cozy moment. It can trigger all kinds of fears, like messing up, being judged, feeling embarrassed, especially if reading has ever felt hard or confusing for them in the past.

[00:04:01] Now, I know mistake five will hit hard for many of you parents.

[00:04:04] Assuming that they're lazy or not trying.

[00:04:06] We see the avoidance and think they just don't care. That word lazy easily sneaks in when we're frustrated, but more often than not, kids avoid reading because they care too much. Reading feels hard, they're overwhelmed, anxious, or they just don't have the words to explain what's hard.

[00:04:21] Mistake six is only valuing "traditional books".

[00:04:24] If you've ever thought that doesn't count when your child picked up a graphic novel, a joke book, or even a Minecraft guide, you're not alone.

[00:04:31] I used to be guilty of this, even though I knew better. JD would pick up a graphic novel and I immediately think, okay, but when is he gonna move on to real books?

[00:04:39] I never enjoyed graphic novels myself, but once I saw that letting him read Dog Man was the difference between reading something, anything, versus nothing at all. I changed my tune real quick because reading is reading period. Every format helps 'em grow as reader and build their reader identity.

[00:04:55] Mistake seven.

[00:04:56] Taking the wait and see approach when skills aren't clicking.

[00:04:58] Now, this is a big one, I see parents make all the time. Sometimes we hope things will magically improve and every once in a while they do. But more often than not, when kids are struggling, they just get more and more frustrated each week, which means bigger struggles down the road.

[00:05:11] Mistake eight.

[00:05:12] Not modeling, reading yourself.

[00:05:14] We're busy, I get it. But when our kids never see us crack open a book, it's hard for them to understand that reading is something people choose to do for fun. That it's not just a school thing. And not only that, if we're always on our phones, which I'm guilty of, we're accidentally modeling screen time over story time.

[00:05:30] Now, this next one I took for granted a year ago.

[00:05:32] Mistake nine.

[00:05:33] Not reading with them, especially after they're reading independently.

[00:05:36] When I took a step away from reading with JD, I completely missed that he wasn't able to imagine what was happening in his mind as he read. This became a real roadblock for his comprehension, and it started to make reading feel less and less enjoyable for him.

[00:05:48] We're still working to build that skill, but making reading time a shared experience again, brought the joy of reading back for him.

[00:05:54] Mistake 10.

[00:05:55] Relying solely on the school to teach your child to read.

[00:05:58] Now, it's totally understandable to make this mistake. Parenting doesn't come with a handbook, and it's easy to assume that the classroom has it covered.

[00:06:04] But here's the thing, teachers are doing so much, they have an entire classroom full of kids to support. Your child's best chance for one-on-one support, especially in the early years, often comes from you.

[00:06:14] Now our last mistake, mistake 11.

[00:06:16] Assuming that decoding equals comprehension.

[00:06:19] They might be reading the words, but do they really understand them? Comprehension is a whole other skill set and it's hard to enjoy a book if you have no idea what's going on. Like JD and his struggles to envision what he was reading, causing his interest in reading to take a complete nose dive.

[00:06:32] Once you know what's getting in their way with comprehension, there's so much more you can do to gently support that at home. 

[00:06:37] Now let's talk about what to do instead. The good news is most of these mistakes have simple, yet powerful shifts that you can make.

[00:06:42] Let's start with visibility.

[00:06:44] Make books part of the environment.

[00:06:45] Sprinkle them around your house in the car, the bathroom, near the breakfast table. Now if you want help setting that up, my Create the Invitation to Read mini course, walks you through exactly how to turn your home into a reading friendly zone.

[00:06:55] Using the 5Bs, you can learn exactly how to advertise reading 24/7 so your family starts naturally gravitating towards books. If you wanna learn more about getting books off the back burner and back into their hands, head to the link in the description and sign up for the mini course today.

[00:07:09] In order to shift your reading from rigid routines or another assignment to reading rhythms, try turning reading into a shared moment, a couch snuggle, a book picnic or letting them color while listening to an audiobook. They all count way more than reading X minutes a day, for the sake of completing some reading log.

[00:07:24] You can grab the Reading Bucket List Bundle and make reading feel fresh and new every time.

[00:07:28] Instead of making every reading session, feel like a reading lesson, choose connection over correction.

[00:07:33] Let the story take center stage. You can always revisit the tricky words later because when they feel successful, they'll keep going.

[00:07:40] When it comes to reading aloud, let your child set the pace.

[00:07:43] Let them choose between partner reading, where you're taking turns, echo reading, where they're repeating after you, or even letting them read aloud in private to a stuffed animal, a pet, or a younger sibling. It's all progress.

[00:07:53] Instead of making assumptions, get curious.

[00:07:56] Rather than asking, why don't you try harder? Check in with your kiddo and say,

[00:07:59] "What part of reading feels tricky right now?"

[00:08:02] That one question opens the door to real insight. You don't need all the answers right away. You just need to notice.

[00:08:08] When it comes to what they're reading, you're gonna have to let go of that pretty picture you've painted in your mind of what reading is "supposed" to look like and shift your focus to celebrating all kinds of reading comics, graphic novels, audiobooks, eBooks, even nonfiction and cookbooks. They all build literacy. Bottom line, if it captures their attention and they're reading, it counts.

[00:08:28] If you have any doubts or concerns about where your child's reading skills are at, trust your gut.

[00:08:32] If something feels off or like it's not improving, it's okay to speak up. Early, gentle support makes all the difference.

[00:08:39] And if you're not quite sure what to look for or how to take that first step, be sure to check out Episode 7-Part 1 and 7-Part 2. I walk through the key milestones to keep in mind, plus, ways to support your child at home or with help from their school or other outside resources.

[00:08:53] Now it's easy to step back once they can sound out the words, but reading with them is still powerful and more than likely, it's still something they want from you, especially if reading still feels like work.

[00:09:03] Reading together takes the pressure off, and it gives you a window into what's clicking and what's still a little rough. If you wanna dig deeper into why reading aloud is so valuable and how to make it work for your family's real life schedule, I walk through all of that in episode eight. So definitely go give it a listen if you haven't already.

[00:09:17] And don't forget to model reading for yourself, even if it's 10 minutes with a magazine while dinner's in the oven. They're watching, and it's important to show them that reading isn't just something you do because a teacher said so.

[00:09:27] Check out episode six if you wanna hear how I carve out time for reading in my hectic schedule.

[00:09:32] Reading at home together daily, even for just a few minutes, helps strengthen those reading muscles in a way no classroom can replicate. Weaving it into your family's rhythm makes reading feel natural and less like another school task for them to rebel against or resist.

[00:09:45] If you're looking to support specific aspects of their reading, ask their teacher what they're noticing and what you can do at home to help.

[00:09:50] And if that seems too overwhelming for you, you don't have to do it all. Just offer your presence.

[00:09:55] One of the easiest skills you can help support at home is comprehension. Trust me, it's easier than helping them break down and piece sounds back together, otherwise known as decoding. You can strengthen those comprehension skills by asking questions as you go with the 5Ws and an H, who, what, where, when, why, and of course, how. Now I don't want you to treat it like a quiz, just think of it as a conversation.

[00:10:16] We'll dive deeper into this in a future episode, but for now, remember, one good question can open the door to better understanding.

[00:10:22] I wanna take a moment to reassure you that you don't have to overhaul everything overnight.

[00:10:26] One small change can make a world of difference.

[00:10:28] You're not doing it wrong.

[00:10:29] You're doing one of [00:10:30] the hardest parts of parenting. You're there demonstrating patience and showing up to help your child in whatever way you can.

[00:10:36] Like I mentioned before, no one's out there giving us a manual the moment we leave the hospital or waving a magic wand to suddenly imbue us with every bit of knowledge, we'll need to get them from infant to adulthood. Most of it we just have to pick up along the way.

[00:10:48] But you're reaching out, you're doing your best to find the resources to support your child with whatever life throws their way. In this case, some struggles along their reading journey.

[00:10:56] The first step to fostering a love of reading is noticing what's not working and making tweaks until things start to click.

[00:11:02] And don't forget, you can always come find me over on Instagram @engagingreluctantreaders or pop into the Engaging Reluctant Readers Tribe where we're talking all about this topic this week.

[00:11:10] Hey, before we wrap up, if you're heading into the school year, hoping this will be the year that reading finally feels easier, but at the same time, you're secretly bracing for things to get a little chaotic, you're not alone. Those first few weeks back can be a whirlwind and even the best intentions around reading often get lost in the shuffle.

[00:11:25] That's why I've got something coming up that might help a short, low pressure workshop that's all [00:11:30] about helping you reset your rhythm and reconnect with your reader before the struggles become a daily battle. I'll share more details over the coming weeks, but just know for now if those early weeks feel harder than expected.

[00:11:39] I've got your back and support is on the way 

[00:11:42] Next week, we're diving into what to do when your child says, I'm just not good at reading. We're talking about how to build a confident reading identity, even if your child still struggling with the basics, because confidence doesn't come after they master reading, it comes first.

[00:11:55] We'll walk through simple, practical ways to help your child start seeing themselves as a reader, by changing how they feel about reading. Rather than only focusing on what they can do. 

[00:12:03] Ellen: Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're loving the Engaging Reluctant Readers podcast, I'd love it if you could leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts so these strategies can be shared to take more kiddos from dread to must be read. 

[00:12:17] Are you ready to spark some reading inspiration?

[00:12:19] Head on over to bit.ly/RBLBundle to get your free Reading Bucket List Bundle. With 164 inspiring ideas, you can give your child the power to choose where, what, and how they embark on their reading adventures and embrace reading on their own terms. No more pulling teeth, just excitement and a genuine love for stories anytime, anywhere.

[00:12:42] By snagging your bundle, you'll stay in the reading groove and never miss out on upcoming episodes. 

[00:12:46] Until next time, this is Ellen Westbr