Engaging Reluctant Readers

How to Talk to Your Child's Teacher About Reading (Without Feeling Pushy)

• Ellen Westbrook

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You’ve noticed something about your child’s reading, but the thought of bringing it up with their teacher makes you hesitate. What if I sound pushy? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I’m overreacting?

In this episode of the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast, Ellen Westbrook shares how to have low-pressure, supportive conversations with your child’s teacher about reading. From real-life examples to simple conversation starters, you’ll learn how to approach teachers with confidence, curiosity, and collaboration—without the guilt or second guessing.

What You’ll Learn:

☑️ Why talking to teachers about reading can feel so intimidating (and how to reframe it)

☑️ A mindset shift that turns “confrontation” into “collaboration”

☑️ Practical ways to start the conversation, no matter your communication style

☑️ Gentle conversation starters you can use right away

☑️ How to follow up (even if the first conversation didn’t go as planned)


⏳ Key Episode Highlights:

[00:00:25] Why it feels so hard to bring up reading concerns with teachers
[00:01:25] A personal story: learning to advocate for my child, even when it was uncomfortable
[00:03:19] Why building teacher relationships early makes conversations easier
[00:04:05] A mindset shift: collaboration, not confrontation
[00:04:39] Choosing a communication style that works for you
[00:05:33] The Conversation Starter Kit: a free resource with templates and phrasing help
[00:06:00] Real-life examples of conversation openers and questions to ask
[00:08:07] What to do if the conversation doesn’t land the way you hoped
[00:08:58] Why persistence matters: progress happens in the follow-up

[00:09:25] Sneak peek at next week’s episode
[00:09:42] Reset & Read Workshop


📖 Prefer to Read? Full blog post:  https://engagingreluctantreaders.com/2025/09/05/talk-to-your-childs-teacher-about-reading/


📺 Prefer to Watch? YouTube video version: https://youtu.be/OLXVLDQYf5k


✨ FREEBIE ALERT!
Grab your Conversation Starter Kit—a free guide with conversation openers, message templates, and phrasing help to make teacher talks about reading less stressful and more supportive.
📥 Get it here → https://bit.ly/teacherconvos 


🎟️ Reset & Read is now available as a replay!
 If reading still feels hard even after school has started, this workshop will walk you through how to r

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[00:00:00] Ellen: Welcome to the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast. I'm Ellen Westbrook, your host, and Recovering Reluctant Reader. Together, we'll tackle reading roadblocks with personalized strategies and out of the box ideas. All while rediscovering the joy of family reading fun. Ready to transform your child's view of reading from Dread to Must Be Read?

[00:00:18] Let's dive into today's episode. 

[00:00:25] Have you ever wanted to talk to your child's teacher about reading but weren't quite sure how to start? Maybe you've noticed something at home or you're just not sure how things are going in class. You wanna ask, but then the doubts start to creep in. What if I sound pushy? What if I ask the wrong thing? What if they think I'm overreacting? So instead, you stay quiet, even though part of you still wonders if you should say something.

[00:00:45] If that's been you, this episode's going to help. We're talking about how to have supportive low-pressure conversations with your child's teacher about reading, whether you're trying to understand what's happening in the classroom, share what you've noticed at home. Or you just wanna open the door for better communication. I'll walk you through the mindset, the approach, and some conversation starters to give you the comfort you need to get things started.

[00:01:04] Before we get into the how part of today's episode, let's take a second to talk about why these conversations can feel so hard in the first place. Maybe you don't wanna come across as that parent. Maybe you're nervous, the teacher will say something you're not quite ready to hear. Or maybe you're just not sure how to bring it up without feeling weird or what you're even supposed to ask.

[00:01:23] And I get that. I really do.

[00:01:25] When JD started kindergarten, it was the first year of COVID, we couldn't even walk him into the building. It was a quick goodbye just from outside the doors, and that was it. After years of preschool drop offs where I could casually chat with teachers and check in face to face, suddenly there was this wall between home and school and I didn't know how to cross it.

[00:01:41] I had to be a lot more intentional about when and how I spoke up. No more hallway chats, and let's be honest, the chaos of afternoon pickup isn't been exactly ideal for real conversations. If I wanted to connect, I had to plan for it.

[00:01:54] We did have a messaging app that year, but as an introvert, starting those conversations did not come easy. I'd type and retype a message a hundred times before finally sending it. Don't get me wrong, I can absolutely become a total Chatty Cathy once I'm comfortable, but initiating it, still feels awkward for me every time.

[00:02:10] Over time, I've gotten more and more comfortable speaking up for my boys and starting conversations with the school, especially their teachers. Particularly when JD was having a rough go of things in first grade. He wasn't really connecting with his teacher. He was dreading school and starting to lose that love of learning, and that's when something clicked.

[00:02:26] I had to step up for my kid no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it felt for me. He needed someone in his corner. It wasn't about telling the teacher what she was doing wrong. It was about advocating for my kid to make sure he was being supported in a way that worked for him. That didn't mean I was being pushy or overreacting. I was just trying to figure out how to make things better, for both of them, JD and his teacher.

[00:02:48] Because I get it, managing a class of 16 to 24 students, sometimes more, that's a lot. And they welcome our help even if they aren't directly asking. The more conversations I had, the more confident I became, and that confidence made a huge difference. When Hunter got to school this past year.

[00:03:03] Hunter had the same kindergarten teachers JD had, and I can't tell you how grateful we were to already have those relationships in place, because it was so much easier to have open and honest conversations when we hit a rocky patch right off the bat. I didn't have to build that relationship from scratch. I'd already laid the groundwork.

[00:03:19] So with that in mind, I strongly encourage you to start building that connection early, right from the beginning of the school year. Of course, if you're listening to this episode and it's midyear, it's never too late. Even if your child isn't struggling, it's also helpful to already have that relationship in place for when something does pop up. You don't need to feel a hundred percent prepared. Just start talking. Take it one conversation at a time.

[00:03:39] Now I'm gonna add a side note here. Volunteering at the school is another great way to get to know the teachers, staff, and other parents better. So if you have the time. It's a great help, but not a requirement.

[00:03:49] The comfort I built over time, it didn't come from having all the answers. It came from shifting how I saw the conversation. I stopped thinking of it as something formal or intimidating and started thinking of it as two people just trying to help the same kid.

[00:04:02] And that brings us to the next piece, the mindset shift.

[00:04:05] These conversations aren't about confrontation. They're about collaboration. You don't have anything to prove. You're not trying to pass a test or impress anyone. You're just showing up and that counts.

[00:04:16] You know your child better than anyone. The teacher knows the classroom. And when those two perspectives meet, that's where the best support happens. So if you've ever hesitated to speak up because you weren't sure what to say or felt like maybe it wasn't a big enough deal, please hear this. You're not overthinking. You're paying attention and showing up with curiosity and care. That's more than enough to get the conversation going.

[00:04:37] All right. Let's get practical for a minute.

[00:04:39] Step one, choose the communication style that actually works for you.

[00:04:43] It doesn't have to be a formal sit down in a conference room. In fact, most of the time it's not. You might start with a quick message through your school's communication app. For example, ours uses Class Dojo, or it could be a friendly email or even a handwritten note tucked into a folder or stuck inside of your child's backpack.

[00:04:58] Now, if you're more of a talk it out person, you can ask for a quick check in at pickup, or see if the teacher's open to scheduling a short conversation face-to-face. And if you're more comfortable writing it out first, go with that. Sometimes writing helps us get our thoughts straight before we try to say them out loud.

[00:05:12] Now, if you're navigating bigger concerns, especially anything related to learning differences or possible accommodations, like looking into an IEP or a 5 0 4 plan, or even if one's already in place, I always suggest keeping a paper trail. That doesn't mean you can't talk in person, but it's a good idea to follow up afterwards with a short message or email just recapping what was said, that way you've got a record to look back on if you ever need it later.

[00:05:33] If you're feeling stuck on how to get the words out, I've put together a free guide that can help. It's called The Conversation Starter Kit, a simple supportive tool to help you talk with your child's teacher about reading. Inside, you'll find gentle phrasing, real conversation starters, and quick message templates for when you'd rather write than talk. You'll find the link in the episode description if you wanna check it out now. Or I'll remind you again at the end of the episode.

[00:05:53] But right now let's talk through some of the actual language you can use to start and shape that conversation.

[00:05:59] If you're initiating a check-in, it can be as simple as,

[00:06:02] " Hey, I've been thinking a lot about how [fill in your child's name] is doing with reading. Would you be open to chatting sometimes soon?"

[00:06:09] Or

[00:06:10] "I'm noticing a few things at home, and I'd love to get your perspective on how reading is going in the classroom."

[00:06:16] And if it's more of a casual moment, like at afternoon pickup, you can say,

[00:06:19] "Hey, I'd love to check in about reading some time. I don't wanna keep you now, can we set something up?"

[00:06:24] It doesn't have to be perfect. It's just about starting the conversation.

[00:06:28] Okay. Now, once you're in the conversation, try sharing a couple of real life observations. Nothing fancy, just a few things you've seen or heard at home that might be helpful context.

[00:06:37] "They've been avoiding reading time lately. Have you noticed anything like that in class?"

[00:06:40] " They say they're not good at reading, even though I can tell they're trying. What's your take during reading time?"

[00:06:45] " They're loving graphic novels and audiobooks right now. Should I keep encouraging that?"

[00:06:49] Now, side note on this one, I don't care what your teacher says. It's always gonna be a yes from me.

[00:06:53] "They've been getting frustrated reading out loud. Does that show up at school too?"

[00:06:57] These kinds of comments give the teachers something real to respond to, and they show that you're paying attention, not placing blame.

[00:07:03] From there, you can ease into curiosity. Ask open-ended questions like,

[00:07:07] "What's their confidence like during reading time?"

[00:07:10] "Are there any strategies you're using that we should try at home too?"

[00:07:13] " How do they seem emotionally when it comes to reading?"

[00:07:16] " What kind of books or activities seem to click with them in class?"

[00:07:18] You don't have to agree with everything, but staying curious helps build trust.

[00:07:22] Ellen: If you both agree something could use a little support, try offering to work together.

[00:07:27] "Would it be helpful if we tried ________ at home?"

[00:07:29] "Could we try a reading log that's more about reflection than homework?"

[00:07:32] And when the conversation wraps up, follow up. Even if it's just a simple,

[00:07:36] "Thanks again, I'm gonna try those ideas and check back in next month."

[00:07:40] It keeps the door open and reminds everyone that this isn't a one-time fix. It's an ongoing partnership and you're a valuable part of it.

[00:07:47] Okay, now even with the best intentions, sometimes the conversation doesn't land the way you hoped it would. Maybe the teacher brushes it off with something like,

[00:07:53] "Let's just wait and see."

[00:07:55] When you were really hoping for the next steps. Or maybe you walk away from the chat feeling like you weren't fully heard, or worse, kinda dismissed. That's frustrating, and honestly, it can be disheartening, especially when you worked up the courage to say something in the first place.

[00:08:07] But here's the part I really want you to remember. You're allowed to circle back. That doesn't make you difficult, it makes you persistent, and that's not a bad thing. You can absolutely say,

[00:08:17] "I'm still concerned."

[00:08:18] Or

[00:08:18] "I'd like to revisit our last conversation."

[00:08:20] You can ask,

[00:08:21] "What would you wanna see before we consider additional support?"

[00:08:23] You're allowed to ask for more information and you're allowed to ask again.

[00:08:27] Also, it's okay to keep notes for yourself so you have something to refer back to. And if you're advocating for something more formal, like extra reading help or looking into a 504 or IEP, it's smart and encouraged to document everything. Just a quick summary of what was said and when, so you have a record to come back to if needed.

[00:08:43] These conversations don't have to go perfectly. They don't have to be easy. They just have to keep moving forward because progress happens in the follow-up, not just the first step. So if you've been second guessing yourself or waiting for the perfect time or the right words to bring something up, consider this your gentle nudge.

[00:08:58] You don't have to figure it all out on your own. You've got tools to help. You've got real life examples and conversation openers to lean on, but more importantly, you've got insight. A front row seat to who your child is as a reader and a learner. You're not overreacting and you're not underqualified. You're showing up, starting the conversation and working to build something better for your child and for their reading journey. And it might feel a little awkward at first. It might push you outside your comfort zone, but you're doing something really meaningful and that matters a lot.

[00:09:25] Next week, we're talking about how to make library visits go a little more smoothly, especially if you've ever left empty handed and frustrated. We'll cover how to prep before you go, how to set a few ground rules with your kids so you're not chasing them down every aisle. And find ways to make the library a spot your whole family actually wants to come back to. Hit follow now so it's easy to find when the episode goes live.

[00:09:42] Real quick before I go. If you're already seeing signs that reading time is turning into a daily battle, the eye rolls, the stalling, the dreaded "Do I have to read?" moments. Don't wait for things to magically fix themselves.

[00:09:54] I'd love to invite you to my upcoming Reset & Read Workshop. It's a short, encouraging session where we'll walk through simple ways to reset your reading rhythm and make things feel smoother for your whole family. You'll find all the details and the link to register in the description. Hope to see you there.

[00:10:09] Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're loving the Engaging Reluctant Readers podcast, I'd be so grateful if you take a second to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more families find practical tools and feel good reading wins.

[00:10:22] And if this episode has you thinking about how to start those teacher conversations with a little more confidence, I've got something that'll help, the Conversation Kit.] It's a free guide filled with conversation openers, real life examples, and simple ways to keep things supportive when talking to your child's teacher, not stressful. You can grab it at bit.ly/teacherconvos or just click the link in the description.

[00:10:43] Until next time, I'm Ellen Westbrook cheering you on and reminding you, being an advocate for your young reader doesn't mean having all the answers. It just means showing up becau